She's Retirated and Raising a Child with Empathy

Joe came home from school with a green light! Whoo Hoo! Evidently he and the substitute have come to terms with each other. He informed me that Mrs.X (names have been changed to protect the innocent) was "retirated that is what makes her so hateful" I made the mistake of saying yes she is probably tired, of course he was trying to say she is a retired teacher, but it did not come out right. In any event he is very empathetic to her cause now and is going to try to understand when she is being "hateful". Right on Joe! I am proud that he chooses to understand that she is not so happy being out of retirement.

Speaking of empathy; every parent would like their child to put themselves in someone else's shoes before acting out, primarily putting themselves in mommies shoes when she is on the phone, or trying to shop for groceries would be super great!

You can foster what I like to call a thoughtful child by taking certain steps when you are correcting inappropriate behavior. Raising a child that is empathetic increases the possibilities of your child getting along better in the world.

Be Kind if you want to raise a child that is kind than show them kindness. I heard years ago that you should always be happy to see your child when they enter the room, no matter what you have going on or are in the middle of take a few minutes just to smile and greet them.

Be Empathetic in front of your child and to your child as often as possible, remember even when you think they are busy playing or are otherwise occupied your child is gauging your reactions and picking up bits and pieces of what you are saying. Remember when you were a small child and overheard conversations you should not have you may not have been able to understand the words but as you got older the conversation stuck with you and eventually you figured out what was happening. Keep the anger to your self. Show concern for how your baby is feeling verbally from very early on. Conversing about feelings from an early age will help your baby to consider others feelings as they grow.

Ask the Right Questions when you have to reprimand your child do so with kindness and kind words. Use questions to illicit feelings of shame for acting out instead of berating for acting out. For example:

Your child bites! Most children go through a stage where they bite out of frustration because they are yet to small to communicate (it does not hurt any less when you know why they bite) but it is always unacceptable. NEVER BITE A CHILD BACK!!! It becomes a game if you do. Calmly state NO! that is not allowed! Than ask " do you think it hurts when you bite someone?"  Many times the child does not even realize that they are hurting someone. "Do you think it hurts so and so's feelings when you bite them?" "Do you understand you need to use words?" "Do you like playing with such and such toy?" hopefully the answer will be yes, than let them know you will have to take the toy and put it away until they don't bite for X amount of time, like until mommy picks you up from day care or until after you take your bath tonight a manageable amount of time. Once you return the toy remind the child " did you like that I took your toy away?" well so and so did not like when you bit them. If you bite again I will have to take your toy again. Of course this scenario only works with children 24 months and older under 24 months the idea is just not comprehended.

Always ask your child probing questions when reading books together about the characters and how they feel at certain times in the story. One of the absolute best teaching tools is your own voice. Holding conversations with your baby as young as 6 months can lead to a life of love and empathy for others!